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Mental Health Check - October

Ok, my presence around here has been dodgy none the less. Sorry about that! I was spiraling there for a hot minute, but I'm glad to say that I've battled the beast and come out victorious. There's a saying that things come in 3's, be it good or bad. How's about 3 bad things in ONE SETTING? It was devastating to say the least.

The thing that hit me the hardest was when a guy decided to wait until I went inside a restaurant to order food and steal my backpack outta my car. I was crushed. Like, cried until I got a headache. You know that zombie series that I posted from quite a few times? Yeah, the 3rd and 4th book are GONE! 😢😭

I felt so violated. I vaguely saw his face. How sketchy he was. He was in a beige colored SUV. I peeped him looking at me as I'm on my cellphone. I should have stayed in the car. Or maybe not. If he was willing to steal a child's backpack outta my car, he probably would have robbed me! I just thought of that as I type this.

The thing that bothers me the most is that it's utterly useless to him but was priceless to me. Once he saw there was no money or anything of value but notebooks and pens he's going to chuck it. A good chunk of my life was in that backpack. When will I ever learn to stop keeping valuables in my friggin' car!? (I lost my first + only DSLR in a car fire back in 2012...).

I also feel pretty vulnerable because my personal journal was in that backpack. So a part of me is out there. I hope he didn't read it. I hope he just dumped the entire backpack and it's in a landfill somewhere covered in trash juice.

I learned my lesson, as much as I think I can. I don't write my novels in notebooks anymore. I've actually started a new novel and I'm typing it strictly in Google Docs on my Google 1 cloud service. Part of the reason I was even writing my first drafts in notebook was for accessibility. Now I can go from computer, to tablet, or cellphone. I use a Bluetooth keyboard and now I'm good to go. Diving into another project and mourning the contents of that backpack by making a list really helped me grieve.

How do you grieve when you lose things of great value?

Backpack Contents
Zombie Book 3, Notebook 2
Zombie Book 4, Notebook 1
Zombie Book 4, Notebook 2
Herbalist notes, Notebook 1
Herbalist notes, Notebook 2
Product line note cards
Personal journal
Writer notes, Notebook 1
Writer notes, Notebook 2
Witch book, Notebook 1
Just started notes on my zombie book 10/16/18
Can of tuna
Can opener
US Open credentials
My work badge
New bag of pens
Accounts and passwords
Daily bread book
Expensive prenatal pills
Vitex 1oz tincture
A new box of healthy cycle tea
Jar of hair conditioner
Shea Moisture face moisturizer

X🍉, Jae


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