Skip to main content

Body Positive, Health Negative


I never thought there would come a time in my life where I wouldn't be fighting with my weight for vanity but due to the health issues. Fast forward over a decade, I'm in my lovely dirty thirties, and BOOM!

I need to lose weight because of my health 😣

I've fought with my weight my entire life. I mean, my entire life. I've seen pictures when I was only 3 and I looked like I was 5! {See pic below! Do I look 3!? 😜}
I've been comfortable with my weight for the past 9 years or so. Big, small, big again, small again. In my mid twenties I got into working out and eating better to combat my PCOS symptoms and did really well. Girrl, I was sexy! You couldn't tell me nothing! 



At one point in my journey I was so much in denial that my PCOS had nothing to do with my weight, I was taking a handful of supplements daily. I mean, there are women 300lbs or more and they are getting pregnant. My highest weight for my 5'3 frame was 245lbs. I felt horrible at that time in my life. But for the past decade I have kept my weight between 200-225lbs. 
Lately I feel like I'm hovering towards the 230lbs mark. I haven't weighed myself in years. Partly because I just haven't cared. I'm comfortable in my skin. But my body isn't comfortable, and my PCOS absolutely hates me for it. 


See? Super duper comfy in my thickness! 


This is my 2018 fat self, and I have been feeling like crap health wise. I'm not really going into super detail what was my breaking point for me this Summer {it's sexual 👄💦💧👀👃 in nature}, but I knew enough was enough. My urine has smelled awful and sweet for months, and I have just been ignoring it. I've been breaking out in crazy rashes, which a sign for insulin resistance, and worse diabetes. So, I'm reclaiming my health back! 💪💪💪 I love what I see in the mirror, but skin deep, it's a mess in there! How do you find the strength + time to drop some weight when you feel 110% comfortable in your skin? 😐

Popular posts from this blog

Vlog Magick v.6: My Growing Walgreen's Addiction

Hey, lovelies! It's been a while. May is still Mental Health Awareness month, so I'm exercising working on myself this month. It's especially important to me because I'm getting a year older in my dirty thirty's. It's both bittersweet and eye opening. I'm finding my depths this month, more so than I have ever been tried in all my 31 years. I'm finding a strength I didn't know I had in myself, and it's growing everyday. I still have many obstacles to overcome, but day by day, a girl is kicking the ass of all the negativity coming my way. I just keep reminding myself and telling myself that this season is almost over. I'm still winning in my own special way. Lovelies, what ways are you taking care of yourself this month?

Adulting: Mental Health Awareness Month

I didn't realize my birth month is #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth. Funny how the first day of the month I have a complete mental breakdown. I'm fine now. Actually the next day I was doing much better.

I knew that transitioning my blog from my budding writing career to a lifestyle blog would be an interesting transition. I am usually secretive and tend to keep my feelings to myself. I knew that somewhere there would be an enemy or foe scowling at my posts, or making jokes at my expense. Which is fine, it comes with the territory. I don't do this for you, I do this for the lone girl that's out there like me. For the person who thinks they are the only one who suffers. I'm open because I'm strong enough to be open. I'm open about my PCOS and the facial hair that comes with it, because I'm inspired by those women who were brave enough to share their experiences.

I'm experiencing what I'm coining 'Environmental Sadness'. My surroundings are mak…