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Adulting: I Need a F!#cking Break

Don't let fear of the unknown keep you from reaching your destiny. Don't let it keep you from reaching your happiness. Don't let fear keep you from achieving your goals. I've been uncomfortably comfortable for a very long time. So much so, that I wasn't even sure if I ever met my breaking point that I would realize it was my breaking point.

I have met my breaking point, and I need a fucking break.

The worse part is? I'm so very close to the end. I think that's what's messing with my brain the most. I'm so close to the end and everything is threatening to tear it apart, but I know there is nothing but success after this horrid journey I've been on. What's my biggest problem? FEAR. I'm fearful of the unknown. With being so close to the end there is no room for error. One bad decision and I'm right back where I started.

I don't want to go back to that dark place...

For years I've shared my personal space with those who shouldn't be around me at all. I truly believe you are the company that you keep, and their ill will can spoil your life. I have been trying to escape for years, and finally in the end when I get the perfect opportunity to escape, someone's jealousy threatens it all. So, in order to make it to the next step? I will leave my current hell and go into another hell. 

I need peace before I lose my mind, and I feel myself slipping further everyday...

I have 9 more weeks until my true freedom. I am going to have to leave my partner for those 9 weeks, because even his spirit at this point in time is no good for me. I need to be alone. With my own thoughts. My mind is in constant turmoil every single day. I've suffered for many years, and now these last 9 weeks are going to be the weeks that are going to break me. I have suffered, will continue to suffer. One day I will be strong enough to share my testimony.

I'm taking the next 9 weeks off to myself. I won't be updating my blog or my Facebook page in this time. I have tons of plans for the second half of the Summer, I will not disappoint! Check back here around early or mid July! xxx JAe 💔💀❤

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