Skip to main content


Showing posts from April, 2018

Adulting: I Need a F!#cking Break

Don't let fear of the unknown keep you from reaching your destiny. Don't let it keep you from reaching your happiness. Don't let fear keep you from achieving your goals. I've been uncomfortably comfortable for a very long time. So much so, that I wasn't even sure if I ever met my breaking point that I would realize it was my breaking point.
I have met my breaking point, and I need a fucking break. The worse part is? I'm so very close to the end. I think that's what's messing with my brain the most. I'm so close to the end and everything is threatening to tear it apart, but I know there is nothing but success after this horrid journey I've been on. What's my biggest problem? FEAR. I'm fearful of the unknown. With being so close to the end there is no room for error. One bad decision and I'm right back where I started. I don't want to go back to that dark place... For years I've shared my personal space with those who shouldn&#…

Adulting: Jesus Take The Wheel

I'm more spiritual, but I do pray. I pray often, and life continues to keep me humble. I know it seems cliche and dated, but sometimes you really have to let go and let God. Or give it to any Spirit, or even Mother Nature. Adulting can be hard, and we're not always going to get it right. For some reason in my 30's it seems there is some imaginary boundary that floats around me, screaming at me not to screw things up. There is some imaginary code that says our margin of error has diminished into almost nothing. Remember when there was less consequences when you were in your 20's? You could mess up big time, but you could always bounce back. The best part? You could almost bounce back at your own pace. Now? It feels like if I realize the screw up, I need to fix it right then and there, or even sometimes catch it before it even happens.

You really do have to make silent moves, or those around will mess everything up. Even family. Even close family. With the news I have, …

Currently Obsessed v.14

This watermelon ukulele! {via Amazon}
This cute pouch {via Amazon}
Awesome idea for husband and wives? Conversation Starters {via Amazon}
How cute is this flask? {via Amazon}
I need this camera decorative pillow! {via Amazon}
I need this ax pizza cutter! {via Amazon}
Movie party with this mini projector? {via Amazon}
This cute little dinosaur cellphone mount {via Amazon}
I wanna bake voodoo cookies {via Amazon}
Ok, yes for this skeleton poncho {via Amazon}

Wordlust: New Lows

New Lows 4/18/18I’m taken to new depths New lows I didn’t even know existed They say you hit rock bottom and that’s it Lies, there’s something much deeper than that Something that burns and churns Covered in lakes of fire Flames that dance and bend Situations that suspend you in the mire Free me, you beg Release me, you plead Forgetting all the wrong you’ve done Forgetting all the pain you caused Knowing the path you were lead Tears you will shed The life that you bled I’m taken to new depths New lows I didn’t even know existed Did I? Should I? I did! But I ignored Because sinning feels too good Feels more right than it should But I know what awaits me I’ve seen the vast sea I’ve been on the brink of death I’ve taken a last breath, But I’ve come back And I know what’s on the other side I know from the end you can’t hide I’m taken to new depths New lows I didn’t want to admit existed

Adulting: Eating Lunch on A Budget

Eating better lunches doesn't have to break the bank! It's a myth. One that took a very long time to finally realize. Are some organic products overpriced? Hell yes! Do you have to buy those products? Nope. But your nutrition shouldn't have to suffer in order to save some coins. This is a post for those of us who haven't quite made the leap to meal prepping. Let's be honest, cooking dinner nightly after work is enough in itself. One day I'll meal prep, one day...

Food is delicious. We need it to live. I'm a self described foodie. I love yummy food. Sweets is my downfall, but that's another story. I've been really proud of myself and fiance. All last week we didn't eat a single fast food dinner. I stopped by the grocery store everyday after work and picked up something to cook. My bank account thanks me graciously. Dinner at home is not the problem. It's lunch. I usually don't cook enough to take a meal to work. Not only that, but a work…

Wordlust: Put on a Show

Put on a Show 4/16/18This is proving to be quite the predicament
You watching me sit on my throne
Waiting to see if I throw you a bone
I won’t
You cross my mind from time to time
I’m curious
Nothing more, nothing less
No rhyme, nor reason
My inner self screams treason
Sometimes I look because I like a laugh
You wanted this spot of mine
But you are not the marrying kind
Oh, that was harsh
These feelings towards you are sparse
I know you do what I do
But we don’t have the same reactions
What you see your heart breaks into fractions
So you pretend
Try to pick up the pieces and mend
I must admit, I like the show
Are you happy now?
I know what I know

Book Review: Beyond Dreams by Andreea Pryde

{via Amazon Kindle}
This one is a lot like Twilight. Where the main characters fall fast, hard, and deeply in love without really knowing anything about each other. We have Ariana who is already in a relationship, but she's not really serious about being in that relationship. Michael enrolls in school, the mysterious hottie. Who could resist the new kid? Good thing for Ariana, no one else is interested in him romantically except her.

Who is the new kid? What is Michael? There's a beast underlying in him somehow, but it's really shrouded exactly what this beast is and how did it come about. So, Michael spent a lot of his early teen years or some part of his childhood in the jungle. He joins civilization via his caretaker, Antony. They are wealthy, and Ariana will find out just how wealthy they are when he does an amazing kind act for her and her mother.

Ariana has dreams ever since she was a little girl. She has them so frequently that she has her own dream diary. The only…

Wordlust: Sway

Sway 4/13/18I could fall out of sync this way I could drift out to your dismay I slowly drift in a river of your tears I glare down into the reflection of my fears I could lose myself this way I could lift myself to your sway I gradually sink to depths never before I peer into the darkness of forgotten lore These feelings are becoming such a bore Keeping pace with the malice is such a chore

Wordlust: Fester

Fester 4/13/18I let the wounds permeate my being
Become part of me with every lash
I become angrier with every clash
Who are you?
Who are you to me?
Why have you made yourself known?
Why do you pretend you have grown?
I have watched you from my seat
As I sway on the waves,
You sway with me
As I receive the love I give,
You receive with me
Who are you?
Who are you to me?
An extension of my relationship
Like a bad laceration
I let it fester
I let it rot
You be me?
I think not
They say I have to let go
I have to pretend I don’t know
Where does this hatred go?
I let it fester
I let it decay
I let the feelings pour as they may

Retail Therapy: Site To Store with Walgreen's!

Did you know that Walgreen's ships to their store for free? For free you say? OMFG! I think I'm addicted to Walgreen's. Right now they are running a special where the Beauty Enthusiasts gets 7,000 points when they spend $20.
I like the aspect of shopping online and sending it to the store, because there is a lot of online products that you can't find in the store at all. I will still hit up my local Walgreen's because I still like to scour the clearance aisle. I'm weary about shopping online for the points because I don't know for sure if my 7,000 points was added properly. I clipped the coupon to my card from my e-mail, but the order page said my order was only worth 5,000 points. I was honestly trying to be slick and see if I could get 13,000 points 😁😂😃 I'm so friggin' tempted to order more things so I can get the 7,000 bonus points 😔
So, Botanics looks promising! I'm always on the lookout for skincare products, especially natural skincare…

Wordlust: We, Again

We, Again? 4/11/18To be
Then not to be
We on
Then off again
It's good
Then worse again
We up
To only come down again
We rock together
We pray together
We fight together
Sometimes we fight each other
But you know I love you like no other
Yesterday we dined like peasants
Today we dine on pheasants
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone
But the sun will rise,
and the moon will fall
Aren't you blessed?
To have chosen me out of them all

Wordlust: Something

Something 4/8/18I decayed into nothing
I definitely started as something
This being enveloped in love
Touches that smeared hate
Into thin air I dissipate
See, I'm not like you
I was chosen
Chosen to keep Chosen to sleep
I am all eternity

Currently Obsessed v.13

These rainbow socks! {via Amazon}
This book tissue box
{via Amazon}
I've always wanted to try a dead sea mud mask {via Amazon}
I so want a light box {via Amazon}
A purple cookware set? Yass! {via Amazon}
This adorable cat ears ring {via Amazon}
This black crystal ball is perfect for my office {via Amazon}
This aquarium {via Amazon}
I'm a sucker for floral crowns {via Amazon}
This patch {via Amazon}

Hair: Wash Day with Protein Treatment

So, it's been 2 weeks since the last time I washed my hair. I was prepared to go right into the next sew-in style, but the state of my hair is pretty dire. I don't really think from wearing weaves per se, but really just the fact that my hair is dyed and dried out.

Oh, and I haven't had a trim in forever.

So, I am taking control of my hair care regime, or lack thereof. Last week I used the LOC method, and this week I am excited to use the LCO method and see how my hair likes that. Ok, so let's get into what I did for my wash day:
Separate hair into 4 sectionsCoated my hair in a coconut oil and rosemary oil mixCovered hair with a plastic bag for 1 hourDetangled my hair with a medium wide tooth combWashed my scalp with Camille Rose Naturals Sweet Ginger Cleansing Rinse onceSaturated hair in Aphogee Two-step Treatment ProteinCo-washed hair with Aphogee Balancing Moisturizer mixed with Camille Rose Naturals Moroccan Pear Conditioning CustardDetangled hair with this conditione…

Wordlust: Black Shade {explicit}

Black Shade 4/8/18I was out of my body
Out of my mind
Fucked up in the worse kind of way
Black sheep
Clawing my nails through the white clay
Black girl with a white knight
Small boy with small little toys
No hate, no shade
Those feelings quickly fade
With time all wounds heal
Keeping the next bitch under my heel
Kneel bitch, kneel
He makes love to me now
Sends shocks through my being
Making love to my soul
Sending me on planes into infinity
I told him to turn my mind into coal
Spun around his black finger
His touches and kisses on my skin linger
He fucks me out my body
Makes love to me out of my mind
We mix, we mesh so well
I'm captivated under his spell

Wordlust: #nationalpoetrymonth Series

April is National Poetry Month, so I am trying to write a poem every day. I "cheated" on the 8th day, because I found out about the month late. I currently only need to write one more poem and I'm all caught up. I'm currently working with Facebook to re-name my Facebook page. I really love the "Black Belle Magick" brand, and I want everything to reflect. But they denied it. They want me to keep it "J.M. Wynter". 😐 I'm currently in review, and I hope they side in my favor. I already changed my unique URL to

You can read all the poems on my Facebook Notes page. I'm quite happy with myself. I've only got 3 more hours left of my 12hr shift, and I was quite productive 😁

#nationalpoetrymonth Line-up:So She SaidMy ShineGlitter & GoldOooh!SweetYou & MeRiseMelanin & Magick

Vlog Magick v.5: How To Maximize Walgreen's Savings

Only shop when bonus points are offered!Join the Beauty Enthusiasts program! If you get nothing else from my video, remember those two things and you're good to go! Now the foundation I purchased isn't exactly PCOS friendly, but those are hard to get in drugstores, and I love drugstore products. I don't do fancy make-up, because I'm still not that quite into make-up.
{even cheaper on Amazon!}
{even cheaper on Amazon!} As you can see above you would normally want to shop at Wal-Mart because you're saving $1.55, but when Walgreen's is having their sales, it makes more sense to purchase at Walgreen's, rather than saving the $1.55. Especially in this case, where I got two products for the price of ONE.