I'm in a funk. Feeling some kind of way because I don't really have an actual audience just yet. I keep blogging anyway, but I am losing my steam. I'm finding it hard to keep up with my blog routine. I know what I want to accomplish, it's just hard getting there. I tussle mentally with myself with what I want to share, how deep I want to get. There was a post, actually a couple of posts that I really wanted to share, because I know someone needed to hear my experience. To know they are not alone in this whole PCOS circle of darkness. But I know I have certain readers out there in my personal life that read this, and I'm not 110% comfortable with being completely vulnerable with my feelings.
I'm currently 67 days late, which is very frustrating. Forget baby dancing, it would be nice to just be normal and flush my uterus of old, stagnant blood. That would be great. I'm feeling low. I'm feeling mentally overwhelmed. I know I should exercise, but I don't. Guess what dummy continues to pay $23/mn for a gym membership she doesn't uses? I will not say my name... I know I should get back into cooking my meals at home, and actually buying groceries. I have stopped. I can't even tell you the last time I cooked a meal, or have eaten anything remotely healthy. Water? What's that? Did I take my Vitex this morning? Shit, I skipped a dose of Tribulus. Oops. Oh, what's the point? It's not working anyways!...
This is the whirlwind toxic thinking behavior that I go through on a weekly basis. I have my really good days, my ok days, and my just dig a hole and throw me in it days. The only thing that is freaking me out is that these latter days are more frequent and turn into weeks instead of days. So, how do you find your light when everything around you seems so bleak?
You keep going. Don't stop, don't think, just press through it.
I know, easier said than done. I get it. We're human. We're going to make mistakes. We're going to eat shitty, we're going to skip doses of medicines, we're going to not feel up to exercising. We're going to stare at our vitamins, our 4th cup of tea, our tincture and think: why me? Why does it have to be so hard for me? Why do I have to be the one who tries extra hard?
10 Things I do to beat my Funky Fogs:
- Write in a paper journal
- Diffuse essential oils: I use Nature's Truth blends at Walgreen's
(Happiness is my fave blend!)
- Go for a walk, or dance to some really good tunes
- Join a PCOS support group online
- Have you a really kick ass Fertility Friend (my FF has PCOS, too! She keeps me sane!)
- Read a book
- Go to the beach (weather permitting!)
- Go shopping (or browsing if you're saving like me!)
- Envision, pray, speak into existence what you want in your life
What are some ways you de-stress when it comes to dealing with your PCOS symptoms? If you can't make it to the beach, watch the soothing video I made when I went to the beach in this post.